Exchanged

Warning: This post is extremely long. You may skip the intro part if you want :)

*Intro part*

When I decided to enter NUS, it was amidst a frenzy of packing and getting ready for entry into University of Western Australia because I never thought that I could get into NUS with my results, and even if I did, I would not get the course of my desire. NUS's reply was rather late so I really thought I was Australia bound, something which I was bittersweet about. On one hand, I knew the homesickness would be a tough obstacle to get over, or maybe, it was something that's impossible to get over. However, on the other hand, I was really excited about putting myself out there, being truly independent for once, being overseas and away from home. Prior to accepting UWA's offer, I went over to Perth for a trip and viewed their university campus and found that it was a beautiful place with huge lawns that looked like meadows, aesthetically wonderful architecture as their school buildings with a few that looked like old victorian mansions. The campus was situated adjacent to Perth's famous Swan River where students can literally have a picnic, relax or study, while enjoying the magnificent view. Not so far away from the campus was King's Park, a beautiful place for exercising or just taking a stroll after a hard day's work.

As you can already tell, I fell in love instantly with the scenic country and laid-back life. However, due to financial considerations and practicality, I decided to stay in Singapore and accepted the offer to enter NUS. A part of me was disappointed beause I felt like I gave up the chance to experience the world like I could have if I had gone over. But I can tell you now, I have since made my peace and although I know I would have experienced many 'firsts' there, I did here as well when I decided to stay in KEVII.

*The real story*

It all began when I went for the KEVII hall orientation and met a group of exchange students. I was apprehensive at first about whether I should go up to the one exchange student in my orientation group, Daniel. Upon seeing that no one was really going up to him to talk, I decided that I should take the first step. DB is from Canada, a year older than me, majoring in Psychology and when asked why he chose Singapore for exchange he candidly replied that he thought this place was "AMAZING!!!!!". As time went by, we became closer, and thus, I invited him and a few other exchange students to a meal at the then open MakanSutra at the Esplanade. It was quite interesting to watch their expressions everytime they tried a new dish and we had a great time getting to know each other's country and lifestyle.

I had the most fulfilling time talking to them and sharing to them about Singapore because they took in every word I said with such attention. Every night seemed like a new adventure for me as I went out with them, introducing them to Singapore, while they introduced me to the more 'adult' world of pubbing and clubbing. I felt like I was growing up and being independent in a sense, with the late nights and discovery of a side of Singapore I've never seen. However, there came a point in time where I knew the partying was getting too rowdy and I couldn't agree with some of the things they did, like being physically too close and I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I also knew I needed to focus on my studies and give up on the partying life. This was where our friendship began to drift apart.

There were nights when DB would come over to ask me if I wanted to go out with them but I would decline saying that I needed to study. I still tried to go out with them once in a while but not as often as I used to and this change seemed like it was too big for DB to handle. The first few times, he would just say something like:" Awww... Come on..." and when I persisted, he would just shrug his shoulders and say he'll ask me another time. However, subsequently, his reactions were not so forgiving. I understood that they were exchange students and did not need the grades as much as I do, and I tried explaining that to him but he wound up saying that I was being anti-social. I was offended naturally, and told him about the fact that I wasn't comfortable with some of his friends' behaviours. He didn't seem surprised and promised that he'd talk to them about it and left with a seemingly defeated spirit. I felt bad about lashing out at him but I felt like I needed to get my priorities right and work towards that. After that incident, DB still came over occasionally for a short chat but as for asking me out, he'd just casually mention it, and to my perspective, without much hope of me actually going.

Now that I think about it, there was definitely a cultural conflict going on especially about the boundary of physical closeness between friends. Being Asian, it is more common than not that being of a certain physical intimacy between sexes, like hugging, would mean that the 2 people were an item. But to DB and his friends, it was merely being friendly. Even a peck on the cheek didn't seem like something that was overboard to them. Being one of the fewer Asians to be in their group, I naturally stuck out like a sore thumb when I didn't participate in this physical closeness and I guess that played a part in me not wanting to join them so much as well.

But all's well and ends well in the sense that we maintained a considerably close friendship despite what happened. It was quite sad that the exchange students had to leave eventually but I was glad that I experienced their stay here with them, telling them about Singapore and learning about their different countries as well. The friendship with them is one that I'll definitely keep close to my heart.