The Importance of Effective Communication Skills to Me

I believe there are many reasons as to why effective communication is important to a person. After all, no man is an island, and we need to communicate with each other to survive. Life is all about relationships with each other, isn't it? Be it a relationship between the boss and the employee, the mother and the child, the husband and the wife, one needs effective communication to keep the relationship working.

Well, the obvious reason as to why I need to have effective communication is to get things done, in school, at work (after all, the textbook did say in the workplace, which to me, places a very academic/career-wise connotation on it), at home or anywhere! I have, like many, experienced the frustrations of not being able to get my point across. Sometimes, it's like people have this blockage that prevents them from understanding me. But as I grow older and wiser (hopefully), I realised that it really takes two to clap. Understanding can only come with adequate explanation. I've always wondered why it is said you MAKE someone understand and now I know why. It is my responsibility to ensure that someone understands me; I have to put in the effort to MAKE that someone understands me. This "understanding" can only come with effective communication skills.

Just a passing thought as I ponder on this topic: I wonder, now, whether it is because of the rising of technology that has placed us on this path of dwindling communication skills. Aren't text messages, electronic mails, tagboards and even network sites supposed to make us communicate better? But it seems, as time passes, the problem of miscommunication gets bigger. Be it due to generation gap, mind sets or various other reasons, it cannot be denied that our generation has become one that seriously lack interpersonal skills which I believe is a great, if not, synonymous component of effective communication.

Back to why effective communication skills are important to me: Besides the obvious reason of getting things done, the more subtle reasons can come in outside of the work context. For example, when offering comfort to someone. I really get stuck sometimes when a friend or loved one is in need of some form of relief. My mind starts bombarding itself with panic and how stupid I am being because I can offer no words of comfort. Another example comes with squabbles with my elder sister which mostly always ends with us asking each other to shut up. I really don't care if people that don't matter to me misunderstand me, but somehow, strangers seem to understand me more than the people I love. The heart-wrenching feeling I get when that happens compels me to really learn how to effectively communicate with them. Though it may seem a little heavy to say it now, but I certainly don't want to live a life of regret.

Another important factor in my life that DEFINITELY needs effective communication is in the aspect of my 'religion' (the reason for ' ... ' is because I really don't consider it a religion and more of a relationship). I am a Christian. I am called to spread the Gospel, the truth. But sometimes, my mouth stays closed. Of course, I find it easy to just ask if they would like to visit my church, but anything deeper about the bible or discussions or arguments of certain things pertaining to my beliefs as a Christian, I find myself searching for the correct words to say. More often than not, unfortunately, I find myself offending someone or just not being able to see through another's eyes and speak to them about what concerns them most.

So, why are effective communication skills important to me? Because I know the only way I can get the most out of this short stay of mine on earth, is to ensure that the people I love get the most out of me and this can only happen if I can, well, cheesily-putting-it, communicate effectively.

Their Lonely Betters

-->As I listened from a beach-chair in the shade To all the noises that my garden made,
It seemed to me only proper that words
Should be withheld from vegetables and birds.

A robin with no Christian name ran through
The Robin-Anthem which was all it knew,
And rustling flowers for some third party waited
To say which pairs, if any, should get mated.

Not one of them was capable of lying,
There was not one which knew that it was dying
Or could have with a rhythm or a rhyme
Assumed responsibility for time.

Let them leave language to their lonely betters
Who count some days and long for certain letters;
We, too, make noises when we laugh or weep:
Words are for those with promises to keep.

This poem is about the uniqueness of the ability of man to communicate using the human language, how it is something that is distinguished from other creatures by superiority, although this entity too, has its pros and cons. The poet knows that with this higher form of communication, comes the burden of responsibility. The poetic persona portrayed by a man sitting in a chair on a porch staring out into his garden oozes of loneliness as compared to the creatures of the garden, and thus comes about the title of the poem, "Their Lonely Betters."