Exchanged

Warning: This post is extremely long. You may skip the intro part if you want :)

*Intro part*

When I decided to enter NUS, it was amidst a frenzy of packing and getting ready for entry into University of Western Australia because I never thought that I could get into NUS with my results, and even if I did, I would not get the course of my desire. NUS's reply was rather late so I really thought I was Australia bound, something which I was bittersweet about. On one hand, I knew the homesickness would be a tough obstacle to get over, or maybe, it was something that's impossible to get over. However, on the other hand, I was really excited about putting myself out there, being truly independent for once, being overseas and away from home. Prior to accepting UWA's offer, I went over to Perth for a trip and viewed their university campus and found that it was a beautiful place with huge lawns that looked like meadows, aesthetically wonderful architecture as their school buildings with a few that looked like old victorian mansions. The campus was situated adjacent to Perth's famous Swan River where students can literally have a picnic, relax or study, while enjoying the magnificent view. Not so far away from the campus was King's Park, a beautiful place for exercising or just taking a stroll after a hard day's work.

As you can already tell, I fell in love instantly with the scenic country and laid-back life. However, due to financial considerations and practicality, I decided to stay in Singapore and accepted the offer to enter NUS. A part of me was disappointed beause I felt like I gave up the chance to experience the world like I could have if I had gone over. But I can tell you now, I have since made my peace and although I know I would have experienced many 'firsts' there, I did here as well when I decided to stay in KEVII.

*The real story*

It all began when I went for the KEVII hall orientation and met a group of exchange students. I was apprehensive at first about whether I should go up to the one exchange student in my orientation group, Daniel. Upon seeing that no one was really going up to him to talk, I decided that I should take the first step. DB is from Canada, a year older than me, majoring in Psychology and when asked why he chose Singapore for exchange he candidly replied that he thought this place was "AMAZING!!!!!". As time went by, we became closer, and thus, I invited him and a few other exchange students to a meal at the then open MakanSutra at the Esplanade. It was quite interesting to watch their expressions everytime they tried a new dish and we had a great time getting to know each other's country and lifestyle.

I had the most fulfilling time talking to them and sharing to them about Singapore because they took in every word I said with such attention. Every night seemed like a new adventure for me as I went out with them, introducing them to Singapore, while they introduced me to the more 'adult' world of pubbing and clubbing. I felt like I was growing up and being independent in a sense, with the late nights and discovery of a side of Singapore I've never seen. However, there came a point in time where I knew the partying was getting too rowdy and I couldn't agree with some of the things they did, like being physically too close and I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I also knew I needed to focus on my studies and give up on the partying life. This was where our friendship began to drift apart.

There were nights when DB would come over to ask me if I wanted to go out with them but I would decline saying that I needed to study. I still tried to go out with them once in a while but not as often as I used to and this change seemed like it was too big for DB to handle. The first few times, he would just say something like:" Awww... Come on..." and when I persisted, he would just shrug his shoulders and say he'll ask me another time. However, subsequently, his reactions were not so forgiving. I understood that they were exchange students and did not need the grades as much as I do, and I tried explaining that to him but he wound up saying that I was being anti-social. I was offended naturally, and told him about the fact that I wasn't comfortable with some of his friends' behaviours. He didn't seem surprised and promised that he'd talk to them about it and left with a seemingly defeated spirit. I felt bad about lashing out at him but I felt like I needed to get my priorities right and work towards that. After that incident, DB still came over occasionally for a short chat but as for asking me out, he'd just casually mention it, and to my perspective, without much hope of me actually going.

Now that I think about it, there was definitely a cultural conflict going on especially about the boundary of physical closeness between friends. Being Asian, it is more common than not that being of a certain physical intimacy between sexes, like hugging, would mean that the 2 people were an item. But to DB and his friends, it was merely being friendly. Even a peck on the cheek didn't seem like something that was overboard to them. Being one of the fewer Asians to be in their group, I naturally stuck out like a sore thumb when I didn't participate in this physical closeness and I guess that played a part in me not wanting to join them so much as well.

But all's well and ends well in the sense that we maintained a considerably close friendship despite what happened. It was quite sad that the exchange students had to leave eventually but I was glad that I experienced their stay here with them, telling them about Singapore and learning about their different countries as well. The friendship with them is one that I'll definitely keep close to my heart.

A Letter Critique

This is an email that I've chosen to critique (please take note that this is the exact format in which the email was sent):

Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:08 PM

From: zzz@hotmail.com

To: snll88@hotmail.com; www@hotmail.com; xxx@hotmail.com; yyy@hotmail.com

Subject: back of YF camp shirt draft

sorry, upon closer look i think that the initial design is fine. sorry for all the trouble.as of today, the sizes in are

XXL1,XL2,L6,M15,S14,XS1

ZZZ

Before I begin, I'd like to explain the context of the email. This email was sent by zzz (the camp commandant) to www (the camp shirt designer), xxx (the camp mentor), yyy (another camp mentor) and I ( the assistant camp commandant). This is one of the many emails he has sent that clearly violate the 7Cs of writing and the 'rules' of business correspondance. Clearly, my displeasure towards him is quite evident because of the drafting and re-drafting of the camp shirt design he made us carry out, only to send us the very email above, choosing the first design we ever gave. In addition, he takes ages to reply to an email. I believe a very formal email of apology is due, but what I see above is definitely not it.

First and foremost, his language and format to begin with is mostly wrong. With no capital letters, incorrect or missing punctuations, no address and salutation and no table to organise the 'data' he provided.

The first 'C' of the 7Cs of writing is COURTESY, which is obviously missing in this email. The email does not require the employment of titles since it is a rather informal one, still, I believe a "Dear so-and-so" listing all concerned parties would be the right way to address this email, or even a "Dear all" would have sufficed. Without a salutation, the email seems incomplete, rushed and insincere, though there are many other things to imply the above.

Under Correctness, there is a lack of sentence structure, proper punctuation, capital letters and organisation of data. If there were complete sentences (including the correct punctuation and capital letters), I believe this email would have been accepted as an apology because it would seem he actually thought through and processed his apology.

Conciseness, the third 'C', would be a job well done in this email. He was very concise in what he wanted to say, but it seems like he was a little TOO concise. An explanation accompanying the apology would have been appropriate since there was much effort wasted by the concerned parties.

ZZZ did not really have a problem with clarity as well since he was clear with what he wanted to tell us. However there are improvements that could be made especially with the data provided so that it would be easier for the email recipients to process.

Coherence is not a problem here since there isn't much ideas to begin with to link. There is, however, a lack of cohesion. There is no use of connectors to link the sentences. It would seem like the use of connectors would be redundant in the original email because of the length of it, but I believe with proper improvements, the usage of connectors could do wonders for this email.

Concreteness is a job well done in this email since there is no need for evidence to support a certain idea.

Completeness is definitely not in this email as all components (format and language) of the email lack this very 'C'.

Overall, I would not accept his apology in this email because it lacks earnesty shown in the slipshod way which it is written. What i would suggest to ZZZ is to find a way to get enrolled in NUS and take ES2007S as his core module. :)

An Interpersonal Conflict

Conflict, to me, is an inevitable aspect of communication, or the lack thereof. It may not happen all the time, but it is lurking like a shadow, waiting to pounce at any opportunity. In a more animated (and delicious) illustration, conflict comes with life like pig liver comes in "bar chor mee", like fish cake comes in fishball noodles, like sambal chilli comes with fried hokkien prawn noodles, or ... ... (to prevent a conflict with my greedy self and my new year resolution of losing weight, I'd better stop here). Anyways, my point is, it is not the main ingredient, but it comes as a side dish, that can be refused, taken with grace or be spat out of the mouth like it was poison.

Being the person that I am, frank and according to my friends: fierce and very "in-your-face" ( I AM SO NOT ALL THAT), conflict is all the more unavoidable for me. As much as I try to take it in my stride, some things just do not want to settle itself down gracefully. Here is one example of an interpersonal conflict:

Bella and James are really good friends hanging out for almost a year now and she treats him like the older brother she never had. James has a girlfriend whom he has been with for over 5 years and Bella was a single girl. At an event, Bella met Edward and they quickly developed a rapport. She started to invite Edward to join her group of friends for activities, James included. Slowly but surely, Bella and Edward started to develop feelings for each other, but they were careful not to exclude their friends at activities. Bella could tell that James did not have a good impression of Edward and his distaste for Edward started to show. James also started to behave oddly around Bella, as if he was jealous. One day, James sent an email to Bella, in it were harsh remarks about Bella's character and the people she chose to trust, namely Edward. He judged the both of them severely and his anger did not seem like it was going to be appeased. Bella was confused and decided that she should try and explain things to James. However, she felt like James was treating her as if he was interested in her and that is not right because of the fact that he already had a girlfriend. After a few days, James cooled down and wanted to forget about the whole thing but his attitude towards Edward did not change. Whenever Edward joins the group, James would isolate himself to a corner or just leave. Bella feels stuck in the middle. On one hand, she does not want to lose the friendship, on the other, she is starting to feel a little freaked out from James' behaviour and she sincerely likes Edward.

WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?

p.s. its up to you to decide if this is fictional or not ;)